Hypocrite
by Lionsheart13771
Summary: You can't control me Inuyasha! What do you want me to do, sit tight, never finding someone to try and heal the pain in my heart? If you can leave me, that's fine! As long as you're happy, that's what I want. But please, don't make me sit around to watch.
1. Chapter 1

"_You can't control me, Inuyasha! There are other people in the world besides YOU! What do you want me to do, sit tight in a little hut, never leaving, never finding someone to try and heal the pain in my heart? And you're off with Kikyo, loving her and caring for her while I'm put away as a last resort. If you can leave me, that's fine! As long as you're happy, that's what I want. But please, don't make me sit around to watch."_

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><p><em>Hypocrite<em>

Disclaimer: don't own it. Story's mine, but that's it.

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><p><em>(Kagome POV)<em>

I've been in the Sengoku Jidai for two full weeks now. Mama must be so worried, and I'll bet Jii-chan has told all my friends my skin has turned purple or something crazy like that. I've got to get home, I've missed two tests already! Inuyasha isn't going to like this.

I got up from my place next to Shippou on the grass and patted him on the head saying, "I've got to run Shippou, I'll see you in a few days. If you see Inuyasha…tell him I went back to pick up more supplies."

"Ok Kagome! Will you bring me more of those coloring sticks? I gave about half of mine to Souten 'cause she looked sad."

I couldn't help but giggle at the sweetness of my little kitsune. "Of course, Shippou-chan!"

I started to make my way towards the well, hoping that my sudden decision in leaving would deter a certain stubborn hanyou, who seemed determined to keep me from my family, from discovering my escape. Not that I minded _all_ the time. Sango, Miroku, Shippou, Kaede, Inuyasha, and even Kirara, had all become my second family over time, and being away from them was just as painful as being away from Mama, Jii-chan and Souta. But I _do_ have a life back in modern times.

Well. At least I used to.

In all honesty, I've spent so much of my time here, that I feel more out of place in modern times than in the Sengoku Jidai. The school work has gotten to be way to much for me. I used to be an all A student, but now I'm lucky just to get a C+. All my friends from school, they try to keep in touch with me, but I don't feel close to them at all anymore. Then there's Hojo. Kami. I remember sitting at Wacdonalds with my friends just talking about him for hours on end. We'd giggle and chat about things I could wear next time he took me to the movies, or maybe bad mouth that seventh grader that seemed a bit too friendly for our liking. Oddly enough, my friends seemed to care more about Hojo than I did. I was just glad I had someone to go out with, it was kind of embarrassing to be single.

I couldn't help but give an audible sigh as I walked towards the well.

Ever since I dropped through the well, things in my time didn't seem to matter as much. And even though I tell myself that I never really liked Hojo, maybe, just maybe, if I had never met Inuyasha, I might be happy.

But why am I dwelling on this now? It's not like I could go back and change what had happened. And, though I hate to admit it, I probably wouldn't even if I had the chance. I couldn't knowingly give up my second family. I couldn't give up Inuyasha.

Besides, if I had never come to the past, Inuyasha would never have woken up, and Kikyo's body would be just that, a body. No soul to move her through this world. No soul to love Inuyasha…

And no Inuyasha to love Kikyo.

The blow to my heart was dulled by the fact that I had reached this conclusion a long time ago. Yes, it was a good thing I came here. But I wouldn't have a place in the Sengoku Jidai much longer. Inuyasha may not need me anymore, but I could still be useful to Shippou, Miroku, Sango, and even Kaede from time to time. I won't give up and go home just because I was stupid enough to think that Inuyasha cared about me more than Kikyo. I don't know, maybe he did love me, but if he did, it would be the part of me that looks like Kikyo, does things that Kikyo would have done, even if she would have done them better. It's all right though. I've learned to live with it. Hopefully time will heal the holes in my heart, in my soul. And who knows? Maybe one day I'll find someone else, someone who will look at me and see Kagome, not someone else.

A picture of Hojo, smiling his goofy grin came to mind, and I couldn't help but shudder.

What's wrong with me? Hojo saw me as me, not an imitation, but still. I can't see myself happy with him.

Finally I reached the well. I sat my backpack on the rim of the well and swung my legs over the side. I felt myself slipping over the edge and prepared myself for the strange sensation that came with time travel, but instead I felt a force grab me from behind.

I felt my heart rise to my throat as I heard that voice, the voice that was the reason for all my pain and love.

"And just _where _do you think your sneaking off too, huh wench?"

Damn, I was so close.

I just sighed as he pulled me back out of the well and sat me down in the grass placing himself between the well and me.

"_Well," _I spat out bitterly. "I _was _on my way back to my time. We're out of Ramen and I just guessed you would want more."

Very sneaky Kagome; pulling the old 'Ramen' card.

"Keh, and you thought that you would just wonder off without letting anyone know first?"

"I didn't just wonder off! I told Shippou to tell you where I had gone! And I was only planning to be gone for a day…or two…or three…" I trailed off, lowering my voice so that the hanyou might not hear, but-

"THREE DAYS? YOU CAN'T BE GONE FOR THREE WHOLE FUCKING DAYS!"

"WHY NOT? I'VE SPENT TWO WEEKS HERE! I HAVE TO GO BACK HOME SOME TIME, INUYASHA! PEOPLE FROM MY TIME DON'T JUST DISAPEAR!"

"But what about the jewel shards? You haven't forgotten THEM have you? It's your fault that the jewel broke in the first place!"

That was crossing a line. I knew that it was entirely my fault. I knew that every time we passed a village that was torn apart by a demon with a jewel shard that it was because of me that those innocent lives had been taken. I knew that, had it been Kikyo instead of me that day, the jewel would still be intact and everyone's lives would be so much simpler. So why did he have to remind me?

"Oswari." I said, softly. I didn't want him to hear the waver in my voice.

I felt the ground shudder before me as Inuyasha's face made contact with the unforgiving dirt. I sprang forward and leapt into the well as quickly as I could, trying to keep him from smelling the inevitable tears that would fall at any moment.

I landed at the bottom of the well, tears already streaming from my eyes, and began to make my way up the latter that Jii-chan had placed there for me to get out.

I walked into the kitchen where Mama was cooking lunch and greeted her with a hug.

"Kagome-kun! Your Mama was so worried about you! I wish you would stop by more often to let me know your alri– Kagome what's wrong?" she said noticing my red eyes.

"Oh…its nothing Mama, I just landed wrong at the bottom of the well." I invented quickly.

"Oh my poor girl! Come and sit down and I'll get your some ice, is it your ankle?"

"Uh, yea…" I felt kind of guilty lying to her like that, but I didn't want her to ask questions about Inuyasha. She would say something along the lines of, _'Oh dear, he's just confused about his feelings! He'll come around just you wait! I can't wait to be a grandmother!'_ Her optimism would have made reality that much harder to grasp. I don't think I could have handled it.

I sat back on the couch with my "injured" ankle resting on top of a couple pillows and flipped through the channels of the television absently. Its funny, I used to spend so much time, watching this stupid thing, but now it doesn't interest me at all.

I sighed. If I'm going to spend time here, I should really be using it to catch up on school work. One look at my textbook told me I was further behind than I first thought. Damn Inuyasha. At least I could get Hojo to tutor me.

I pretended to limp up the stairs, saying I was tired and needed my bed. I collapsed on my bed, not even bothering to change out of my dirty clothes, and let sweet sleep claim me at last.

OoOoOoOoO

When I woke up I realized that I had forgotten to close the window before I fell asleep. Damn. If I wasn't careful, I would end up actually sick for once.

I groaned and forced myself up and attempted to make myself presentable for school. The result was a grubby middle school girl with bags under her eyes, frizzy hair, and ugly skinned up knees. It would have to do.

As expected, school was a nightmare. I didn't have a clue as to what was going on. I feverishly took notes in all my classes, trying desperately to catch up. I was writing said notes for my history class when my teacher approached me.

"Higurashi?"

I looked up and realized that the rest of the class had already been dismissed.

"Y-yes, Sir?

"Higurashi, I can tell that you are pushing yourself very hard in all your classes in order to catch up. But I'm afraid, that at this late in the semester, you may not be able to pass."

I felt the familiar lump rise in my throat, it seemed to be there a lot these days.

"I-I'm so sorry, Sensei! I'm working my hardest but its just so difficult and –"

"Calm down Higurashi, I know about your weak immune system, and I understand how hard it is to catch up when you are so sick. That is why I want you to seriously consider home-schooling, at least till you stop getting so sick all the time."

Homeschooling. That means even less time with my friends here.

"I'm not asking you to commit to it now, but I think it would be best for you. Especially if you don't want to take summer courses. Think about it, Kagome,'' he said as he left the room.

"Arigato," I could only whisper. I felt like such a failure. How could things have gotten to this point? I don't belong in the Sengoku Jidai, Inuyasha has made that perfectly clear, and now I hardly belong here anymore.

I couldn't hide the silent tears that fell as I left the building. What should I do? What _**could**_ I do?

"Higurashi!"

I turned to see Hojo running up to me, his ever-present smile lighting up his features. And, while I thought he looked stupid, running through the courtyard waving his arms like that, I stopped and waited for him to catch up.

"Hello Hojo!" I said as cheerfully as I could. Too bad it came out sounding strained. Thankfully he didn't seem to notice.

"So have the doctors figured out what causes your frequent relapses yet?"

"Uh...n-no, not yet…"

"Oh that's too bad! Listen, Higurashi, I know you've only been back for a day, but I was wondering if maybe you and me could get together this Friday!"

"Really? Sounds great! Would you mind if it were at the library? I could really use the study help!"

He looked a bit disappointed, I guess he wanted to do something more exciting than school work, but he smiled and said, "Sure thing! Anything for you Higurashi!"

I felt a twinge of annoyance as he ran off, just as quickly as he came. I felt guilty too. Poor Hojo, I felt really bad about standing him up the last few times he asked me out. He was so sweet, even if he was a bit annoying at times.

I walked to Wacdonalds, hoping to see my friends there. They squealed with excitement when I walked through the doors and they immediately began to catch me up on the latest gossip. Who was now dating who, what couples broke up and why, the latest crushes of the lower classmen. Even about the Language teacher hooking up with the janitor. Kami, who knew this much could happen in two weeks?

I nodded and gasped at the right moments, truly trying to be interested in the world that consumed my friends.

As I listened to their chatter, I ate the slices of heaven that were french fries. Traveling around all the time with Inuyasha meant that I didn't always eat as much as I normally would of. We didn't always have money, so it was usually fish or my, as my friends called it, "ninja food", for dinner. Even then it was spread out so that everyone had enough to eat. And though I was never one to complain, it was nice to be able to eat my fill of something for a change.

I looked at one of the french fries and imagined it was Inuyasha. I crushed it between my fingers before drowning it in ketchup and shoving it in my mouth. I chewed it more than was necessary, and couldn't help but notice how good french-fry-Inuyasha tasted.

Whoa, backup. Erase. Never gonna happen Kagome.

"So, Kagome," my friend Eri started, bringing me back to reality. "Anything new with you and Hojo?"

My three friends stared at me. Kami, they were like vultures!

"Well…actually he's going to help me study on Friday – "

I was interrupted by squeals of excitement from my friends.

"Oh yay Kagome!" Yuka clapped her hands excitedly.

"Its about time! Looks like our Kagome is getting back into the swing of things!" Eri said, an approving look on her face.

Ayumi looked at me, her face kind of blank. "So how are things with that 'boyfriend' of yours?"

That shut my other two friends up.

"KAGOME! Don't tell me your still seeing that two-timing jack ass!" Yuka actually stood up from the table to glare at me.

"I...uh…well you see –" I began but I was cut off by Eri who actually grabbed my shoulders.

"KAGOMEEE! You have GOT to ditch him! We've all seen how sad he makes you! Why do you sit around and watch him chase after another woman? Stop chasing the bastard that can't make up his mind! Stick with Hojo! He's got great grades, he's polite, he's totally into you and he'd never hurt you!"

My friends all looked at me expectantly, and I could feel my eyes tearing up once again. Damn Inuyasha.

"You don't have to worry about him anymore. I never really had a chance to begin with." Now I was getting angry. "I'm going to go out with Hojo, and I'm going to have fun, dammit!" I slammed my fist onto the table, sending the fries to the floor. I looked down at the table and felt a single tear role down my check.

My friends looked at me, shocked at my sudden anger.

"Good for you, Kagome," Eri whispered.

"…Well, I've got to head home. I haven't even started on the math assignment yet. Good luck, Kagome," Yuka stood to leave.

I just nodded my head as she walked out the door, closely followed by Eri. I sat there in silence for a long time with Ayumi.

"You really love him, don't you Kagome?" I didn't have to ask to know that she wasn't talking about Hojo.

I slowly stood, hiding my eyes in my bangs. "It doesn't matter anymore."

I gave my friend and appreciative hug and left to go home. Of my three friends, Ayumi was the one I felt closest to. She always knew exactly how I was feeling, even if I didn't know myself. I was thankful to have her.

When I reached my house, I considered bringing up homeschooling with my mother. It would certainly make things a whole lot easier if I was homeschooled. I could even take a few lessons with me to the Sengoku Jidai whenever I traveled. It would be another big sacrifice towards the hanyou who didn't seem to care, but this whole mess was my fault and now it's my job to fix it.

So I will give up on trying to included, and I'll devote myself more to the task laid before us. I'll give up classes with friends, and lunches with Hojo to fix this wrong. But once its fixed, I'll have to come back. When the jewel is completed, Inuyasha won't try to stop me from going back, he won't have a reason too. I've got to keep some ties to this world of mine if I'm going to return to it fully one day.

I don't think I'll ask my mother yet. I want to enjoy the illusion of being included, for just a bit longer.

OoOoOoOoO

The next day was Friday, and I was trying my hardest to be excited about my date with Hojo. But for some reason I just didn't have the energy.

Classes seem to crawl along, and I couldn't wait for the day to be over.

I waited in the courtyard for Hojo so we could walk to the library together. I listened to his chatter as he gushed about this and that, not really paying attention to what he was saying.

I noticed a colorful window display and saw it was a toy store.

"Hey, Hojo, do you mind if I stop in here for a minute?" I said, stopping on the sidewalk.

He looked awkwardly at the store and gave me a funny look. "Um, sure Higurashi…"

"Thanks!" I said smiling and dashed into the store.

I quickly found the art supplies and picked the 64 box of crayons for my Shippou. I also saw a magic trick and couldn't resist. I paid for the toys at the counter and met an uncomfortable Hojo outside the store.

"Sorry, I promised a little boy I know that I'd bring him more crayons."

"Oh! That makes sense!" he said relieved.

I was kind of annoyed. So what? If I had gone in there to pick out a toy for myself would it really be THAT weird?

Wait a minute….

Yes. Yes it would.

When we got to the library, Hojo opened the door and walked through. I was expecting him to hold it open for me, since his hand was already on the door, so I received a surprise when the door hit me in the face.

"Oops! I'm so sorry, Higurashi!" Hojo cried franticly. "Oh, are you alright?"

"Just peachy," I said, trying not to sound bitter. "Really, Hojo. I'm okay.

He kept mumbling apologies and I turned to find a good table to work at.

"I don't get it."

"Well look at this then, Higurashi. To solve this equation, you have to plug the numbers into the equation X equals negative B, plus or minus radical B squared, minus 4 times A times C, then you divide the whole thing by 2 times A. You got that?

"Yeah, well THAT part makes sense, but the equation doesn't have a C in it! Plus the B is squared, and I'm pretty sure its not supposed to be."

"I'll show you what you have to do. You were right when you said that B shouldn't be squared. In order to make this equation right, you have to rearrange the equation so that it is in standard form."

"OOOOHHHH! But…I still don't get where the C is."

"Well in this case, C is just plus 0, since another number isn't defined."

"Oh. My. Kami. I understand! AH! Hojo you're a genius!"

I hugged him. I couldn't help it. This dang math assignment had been getting on my last nerve and now I finally understood!

"Come on Hojo, we're going to Wacdonalds, my treat!"

"Sounds great! I might as well teach you the next section while we're there. Its pretty much the same principle, but it can be really confusing sometimes!"

We got milkshakes from the counter and I listened to Hojo talk. I was actually, dare I say it? _**Enjoying **_myself! Hojo helped me with a bit more school work, and we talked a bit about teenager stuff. Music we liked, movies we hoped to see. Finally, I felt fully included!

"Well, Hojo, its getting late and I promised my Mama that I'd be home before dark."

"Yeah, I've got to head out too. See you later, alright Higurashi?"

"Sure thing Hojo!" I leaned up and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. It really had been a wonderful evening. For once, I wasn't worrying about my grades. For once I didn't have the worry of Naraku in the back of my mind. For once, in over a year, I was truly happy.

That is, until I heard a growl behind me.

"And just _**what**_ in _**fucking HELL **_are you doing?"

I saw Hojo freeze as he looked over my shoulder.

There goes my happy evening.

I turned around to see Inuyasha, his red on red robe matching his face that was flushed with anger. Thankfully he had remembered the hat that hid his ears.

"You have got a _**lot **_of explaining to do, _**wench**_!"

"Uh-uh…w-who i-is th-that Ka-Ka-Kagome?" Hojo stammered

I glared daggers at Inuyasha but he just stood there growling.

"Oh, him? Well…you see…uh, he's an old friend, from out of town. Please forgive him, he can be kind of rude sometimes.

"Keh!" Inuyasha wouldn't take his eyes off of Hojo. I had to figure out something fast.

"Yep, he's been a close friend of my family for years. His family moved away a long time ago and they came back for a short visit. We've known each other forever and he's always looked out for me. Even when ITS NOT NEEDED." I said the last part while glaring at Inuyasha. He looked at me for a second before folding his arms and tucking one of each of his hands into his haori.

"Oh, w-well h-how nice of h-him!" Hojo stammered, clearly still terrified. "But I must be off!" He turned and practically ran in the opposite direction. I watched him as he left, anger boiling just beneath the surface.

"Now you listen to me, _**bitch**_," my anger spiked at the term he used but still I stared after Hojo.

"Naraku is still out there, in case you haven't forgotten! He's collecting the jewel shards and he's almost got the _whole damn jewel_. We have to get as many of the shards as we can before Naraku does, and even if you ARE as stupid as you look, you'll know that we can't find any damn shards here! I'm tired of you running here every five minutes, and if your _not_ here for those damned 'tests' then you shouldn't be wasting time here at all! What the hell where you doing with that guy anyway? He looks like a loser, and he ran away to save his own neck. Why is it your always surrounding yourself with fags like wolf-shit and Hobo? Do you _like _looking like a whore? We don't have time to keep stopping because you like throwing yourself at every damned male we come across. Why don't you just give up and come back so we can finish this damned thing."

I didn't look at him. I _couldn't _look at him. I thought if I did, I just might loose control.

But you know what?

I don't give a shit.

"Who the HELL do you think you are? You can't control me, Inuyasha! There are other people in this world besides YOU! Do you know what I've DONE for you? What I've given up, FOR YOU? WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER? Its not like you GIVE A SHIT! I had a LIFE here, Inuyasha! But you know what? I gave it up, to be your fucking 'shard detector'! I had FRIENDS here! I don't even know them anymore! You know why? Because I'm always following you around, putting up with your shit!

"And don't you DARE suggest that I'm not committed to destroying Naraku! I've seen the pain and suffering he causes people just as much as you have! I'm doing the best I can to make sure that BASTARD gets what he deserves! I want him gone just as much as you do Inuyasha!"

Things were pouring out of my mouth. Things that were more feelings that actual processed thought. But damn, did it feel good. No way in hell was I going to stop now.

"And when have I EVER 'thrown' myself at KOUGA? In case you don't remember, he KIDNAPPED me!"

Inuyasha rallied my attacks by screaming in my face. "COURSE I REMEMBER, **BITCH!** ITS NOT LIKE YOU WERE COMPLAINING! I SAY YOU ACUALLY LIKE HAVING HIM FOLLOW YOU AROUND!"

"OF COURSE I DON'T! DON'T YOU **GET IT?** I COULD NEVER LOVE KOUGA! I COULD NEVER LOVE HOJO! I CAN'T EVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE EVER AGAIN!"

My eyes were burning. Tears ran down my cheeks. My head was telling me to stop, to say the magic word and leave him in the dirt. But it was far too late. My heart had dominated me and wouldn't let go until it did what it needed to do.

"YOU!" I screamed jabbed a finger into his chest. "ITS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!

DAMNIT INUYASHA I LOVE YOU! AND…AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU'VE KNOWN IT THE WHOLE DAMN TIME! THAT I WORRY ABOUT YOU CONSTANTLY. THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS IN THE FRONT OF MY MIND.

My voice was starting to crack. Tears fell so fast that I couldn't even see. I knew I would regret this, but it felt good to lift the weight off my heart, even if it would just be heavier when I picked it back up.

"But you don't care. You play around with me and make me feel as though you love me too. You act sweet to me and tell me you'll protect me, and then you turn around and injure me worse than any demon ever could."

I pushed past him. I couldn't take it. I had to get away from him before I collapsed.

"Wait – "

I felt anger course through me again.

"Wait for _WHAT_, Inuyasha? What do you want me to do? Sit tight in a little hut, never leaving, never finding someone to try to heal the pain in my heart?"

I laughed at myself.

"Ha! As if I ever could! Even if you didn't threaten everyone who shows an interest in me, I could never love anyone the way I do you."

His face was blank, like he didn't even care.

"You selfish JERK. You put me up on a shelf and decided you'll get me down if it's convenient for you. And because I'm too blinded by love, I can't get myself down. I'm just sitting there, waiting and hoping that you'll need me. And all the while, you're off with Kikyo, loving her and caring, for her while I'm put away as a last resort.

"If you can leave me, its fine! It really is. As long as your happy that's what I want. I promised I would stand by you, and I don't break my promises. I'll stand by you until you tell me to leave. I won't interfere with you and Kikyo anymore. But _please. _If you _ever_ cared about me, even if it was just for a second_. _Be happy with Kikyo and live the life you should have lived 50 years ago. But _**please**__, _don't make me stick around to watch."

I ran down the empty streets of Tokyo, hardly able to see where I was going. I wanted to go to the shrine, but that's where Inuyasha would look for me first.

Ha! As if he would come after me.

Still, I want to get back to finding the jewel shards as quickly as possible. I promised to stay by him, and I will. But I want to finish this before he hurts me anymore.

I return to my house to find my family already asleep. I leave a note for Mama before grabbing my bag and heading towards the well.

I stood at the edge and looked down into the depths. It was dark and scary in the well house without the sun.

My heart hurt so much. Why did I have to say those things to Inuyasha?

Oh, who am I kidding? I know why. I wanted him to understand the pain I was feeling, I wanted him to come after me and tell me the things I said weren't true. I'm such a fool. A tiny part inside me had still held hope, and only now did I realize that it was that tiny piece of hope that kept me from breaking down.

But that hope wasn't there now.

I broke down right there on the ground in front of the well. The pain of it all was too much. Memories flashed through my head.

_The first time I saw him. Pinned to the tree. He looked so calm and sweet then. _

_Fighting Yuka the hair demon, and he lent me his fire rat armor, even after he was hurt._

_Him promising me to protect me as we stood on the grave of his father._

It was then. That was the moment I realized my true feelings for Inuyasha. I had felt it since the moment we had met, but when he swore to protect me, I realized what the strange feeling was.

Other memories played through my mind, like a movie I've watched millions of times before.

_Him, staring at me as he leaned closer. But I couldn't help the feeling he wasn't looking at me, so I pushed him away._

_When Kikyo was first reborn. The look on his face as he saw his lost love. The longing in his eyes._

_Kikyo and Inuyasha together, with me invisible and bound to a tree. Inuyasha confessing his deep love to Kikyo. Inuyasha…kissing Kikyo._

That was the moment my hopes crashed down around me. I should have realized then, I was never anything more than a tool to get Naraku. How I _wished_ that I had tried to move on then, while my love for the brash hanyou could still be passed off as a teenagers crush. But being the damn fool I was, I let myself fall harder and harder for him with every passing day.

I couldn't stay here. Inuyasha would have to come here to get back. I didn't want to face him right now. I knew I would have to soon, but I wanted to delay our meeting as long as I could.

I would leave early in the morning. It would be Saturday, so my family should sleep in. I just left the note I had written earlier where it was.

I fell on my bed and did nothing to stop the tears from flowing. I wanted to get them all out before I saw him again. I didn't want him to know how much he effected me. I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

I tried to think of the other people that I had come to know and love. I listed them, in my head. The people who mattered most to me. The people that I would die for, the people that I would never forget, even years after I leave the Sengoku Jidai forever. Sango, Miroku, Shippou, Kaede…

Inuyasha.

Inuyasha. Inuyasha. Inuyasha.

I won't ever forget Inuyasha.

OoOoOoOoO

I could tell I was dreaming.

It was one of those dreams where you're aware that its not real, so you decide to stick it out and see what happens.

But not this one, I wanted out, and I wanted out now.

Everywhere I looked, I saw the face of the man that I loved. If I closed my eyes or turned away, he was there again. He looked at me, each time with a different emotion.

The first face was indifference. I didn't matter to him at all. The jewel was almost complete and I was just an annoyance.

The second face was anger. He was angry at me for breaking the jewel. For wasting his time with the impossible task of finding each shard.

Then it was hatred. The kind of hatred that only comes one in a lifetime. I had never before seen that look on his handsome face. Not even while battling Sesshomaru or Naraku. He hated me. He hated the control I had over him. He hated that I was incompetent in battle. He hated that I was in the way of him and Kikyo.

Blackness clouded my heart. I couldn't turn away from that face.

I was going to be sick.

I deserved it. I deserved the hatred that his eyes sent towards me. More faces appeared from the darkness. The faces of those who had died because of the Shikon no Tama. The faces of those that were dead because of me.

I was drowning in a sea of their hatred. I called out for help, but none came. I didn't deserve help.

OoOoOoOoOoO

I woke with tears blurring my vision. And even though I couldn't see my room, I could still see his face clearly.

I wanted to die.

I wanted to be cast into the darkness, to know and feel nothing.

But that would be too kind of a punishment for me.

Now I had to put on a brave face, and push on until I had rectified the crimes I had committed. I wiped the tears from my eyes. I could not permit myself to cry any longer. If I let myself be weak like that, I might shatter before my work is finished.

But once it is over, once Naraku is dead and the jewel is completed, I will shatter. Death will finally have pity on me and will welcome me into its arms. How I long for that day.

The wounds in my heart are too deep. They can never be healed.

I was a fool to think that they could.

I walked towards the well, my face set. I must be strong.

I lowered myself into the well, being careful so I wouldn't snag my bag on the edge of the wood. The blue light that surrounded me, the light that usually made the corners of my mouth turn to a smile, had no effect on me today.

As I pulled myself out from the well, I breathed I sigh of relief. Inuyasha wasn't there.

It seemed fate was giving me a break today.

As I walked towards the village, I saw Shippou running towards me.

"KAGOME! I'm so glad your back! Huh? What's wrong Kagome?"

I forced a smile to my face.

"Nothing, Shippou-chan! Look, I brought you something!" I said pulling out the crayons and the magic trick.

"Ah! Arigato!" He said happily, taking his new things and running off.

How I wished I could be as innocent as that.

When I reached the village, I noticed that Inuyasha wasn't there.

"Miroku, Sango, where is Inuyasha?" I asked my friends.

"Kagome-chan! I'm not sure, I thought he went back to the modern era to get you." Sango looked at me confused.

"Well he'd better come back soon," I said turning away. "We should be off looking for more shards."

I caught the surprised looks of Miroku's and Sango's faces before I headed towards Kaede's hut.

"Kaede-sama, I was wondering if you could teach me while we wait for Inuyasha."

"Teach ye what, child?"

"Anything. Anything that might help in the battle against Naraku."

"Is there a reason for your sudden determination?"

What could I say to that? 'Yes. My heart is broken and the reason you all are in this mess is because of me and I don't want to be dead weight anymore. So teach me so we can get this over with and you can be rid of me for good!'

"I…I just want to be prepared."

She looked at me with pity in her eyes. I wished she would stop. I didn't deserve her pity.

"Very well then, child. I shall teach ye how to get the most out of your arrows."

We went to the back of her hut and I held my bow and arrows.

"Now then. When ye shoot a sacred arrow, it shines with a pure light. When it hits its target, the light purifies the object of which it hits. However, the strength of the arrow and the effect it has on its target is entirely dependant on the heart of the one who shoots it. In order to have a big impact of your target, ye must be pure of heart. Ye must give up selfish notions and fill your heart with purity. Do this, child, and not only will your arrow never miss its mark, but it will never fail to destroy the evil it goes against."

"How? How do I make my heart completely pure?"

"That, I'm afraid is something you have to figure out for yourself."

What? How am I supposed to figure that out! Kami, how could this get more difficult?

"Miroku! Where is Kagome?"

I just had to ask, didn't I?

Inuyasha had come back, and he was right around the corner.

"Inuyasha, did something happen between you and Kagome-sama? When she returned without you we thought –"

"Don't play with me, monk! Where the hell is she?"

I gathered up my courage and walked around Kaede's hut. There he was, holding Miroku by his robes.

"Come on, we need to go look for more shards. We've wasted enough time here." I didn't look directly at him. I didn't want to see the face that haunted my nightmares.

I turned and called, "Shippou, Sango, gather anything you need quickly. We are setting off."

I went inside Kaede's hut and grabbed my yellow bag. I gave my thanks to Kaede and began down the road, not even bothering to see if anyone else was following.

"K-Kagome?"

I didn't answer him, I kept my eyes on the road ahead.

"Kagome!"

His voice was angry.

I kept walking. Why won't he just drop it?

Before I knew it he was right in front of me. I stopped, my eyes locked on my feet, and waited for him to speak.

"Dammit Kagome, look at me!"

Be strong. Be strong. Be strong.

"Please, Inuyasha. Lets just go."

"Not until you listen."

"I'm listening now, aren't I?"

"In private." He growled.

I turned on my heel, never taking my eyes off the ground, and walked into the forest. I kept walking until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Kagome…"

I stayed still.

"Kagome!"

He spun me around to face him and forced my chin up. I had my eyes squeezed shut. I could feel the tears waiting behind my eyes. I couldn't look at him and keep in control. I had to stay strong.

"Kagome! Look at me!"

A single traitorous tear escaped my eye and ran down my cheek. Damn.

What he did next forced my eyes open.

My eyes shot open in surprise when I felt his hot lips crashing down on mine.

I looked at his face, and though his eyes were closed, I could see the emotion he was feeling, etched in every line of his perfect face.

Pain. He was feeling pain. Not hatred, not anger, not even indifference or disgust. He was feeling pain.

He held me close, so that even if I tried to push him off I couldn't. But I didn't try. I pressed my lips back. He wasn't invasive. His kiss was strong and gentle, but made my lips burn with passion.

I let my arms wrap themselves around his neck, pulling me impossibly closer. How I had wanted this. How I had craved it. How I had needed it. How I had thought I'd never reach it. And yet here I was, with the man I loved.

He broke the kiss and pulled me into an embrace.

"I love you, Kagome." He whispered softly in my ear. "I always have. And I'm sorry, so sorry. I…I didn't know the pain I was putting you through. I just never thought…I wanted to keep you safe and happy, and I didn't think that you'd be happy with me. But then, every time I saw you with someone else…" His hands closed tighter around me. "…I…I just couldn't stand it!"

I wanted to believe what he said. My heart was hurting from the longing to believe. But my head was reminding me of the pain I already had to bear. This would just add more.

"Kagome, please trust me!"

"…I trust you, Inuyasha. I trust you to protect me from getting hurt, but…I don't trust you with my heart."

I tried to pull away, I had to get away before I gave in to my heart's desires. But with a growl he held me tighter and said, "Then I'll prove that you can trust me."

I felt something wet hit my back. I pushed back enough to where we were looking at each other in the eyes.

He was crying. Actually crying. I felt tears of my own spill over the edges. He meant it! Every word he said! But…

"But…what about Kikyo? You love her."

"Kikyo…" he whispered. He was going to choose her over me. Right now.

"The Kikyo I knew has been dead for 50 years. Now she's just an imitation, a copy of what she once was. Besides, what I felt for Kikyo was nothing like what I feel for you now. You've trusted me, since the beginning. And it didn't make sense to me. It still doesn't really. All I know for sure is that I need you. I need to have you with me, always. It hurts when you're far away. Whether you love me or not, I couldn't stand it if you left me. I love you."

"You…you love me? But how can you? I've caused so many problems! Its my fault the jewel came back, it's my fault the the jewel was broken and scattered! It's my fault that so many innocent people are dead!"

I was crying even harder now.

His arms wrapped tighter around me, drawing me into his chest. It was warm there and I felt safe. I felt as though I belonged there.

"None of its your fault Kagome. The jewel would have come back, one way or another. This is all Naraku's fault, and you're an idiot if you don't think so. You're the one that saved so many people. You saved us all, Shippou, Sango, Miroku, and especially me. There ain't nothin' for you to feel guilty about."

Is this how he really felt? He was being so sincere, was this really Inuyasha?

"Dammit, bitch! How come you still don't believe me? You baka!"

Yep. It was really him.

Before I knew it, I had pulled myself up to kiss him. I regretted it at once and started to pull back, but was stopped when he gave a low growl in his throat and pulled me closer.

It warmed my heart and touched my soul. Everything else seemed to disappear from my mind as our lips met and our hearts became one.

We kissed like that forever, and when we finally broke apart, the stars were shining above us and fireflies danced around us.

"Arigato, Inuyasha. I love you." There were no more tears in my eyes.

"I love you, my Kagome."

He loved me. He really loved me! The wounds in my heart that I had thought were too deep to ever be healed were as good as gone. And it was all thanks to a guy I met pinned to a tree.

I knew what Kaede had been talking about earlier. I knew how to fill my heart with purity now. There is only one thing in this world that is truly pure, and that is love. Love, the kind where nothing else matters and you would give anything for it. And with the love of a hanyou filling my heart, well…

…That's just as pure as its ever going to get.

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><p><em><strong>AN Yes that's the end. Make sure to subscribe, though. I'm working on another chapter that is going to be from Inuyasha's POV. I hope you enjoyed the story!**_

_**It would mean a lot if you left me a review! Even a small one…pretty please?**_

_**Until later!**_

_**~Lions Heart (ROAR! ^-^)**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: This is the same story Hypocrite except told from Inuyasha's POV. To me, he sounded like a jerk in Kagome's POV, but he was supposed to. Now I want to retell the story from Inuyasha's POV so we can get a few things strait. He's half demon, he thinks differently!**_

_**IMPORTANT! **__Bold lines are Inu's demon's thoughts. Ex. _**Weak humans.**

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><p><em>Hypocrite<em>

Disclaimer: don't own it. Story's mine, but that's it.

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><p><em>(Inuyasha POV)<em>

I was on top of the old hags roof. I liked being up there, no one seemed to know that I spent most of my time up here when we are at the village.

I really hated just sitting around, we were wasting so much time! I wanted to go and search for Naraku before he could get his hands on any more shards, but I was outvoted when the group said they needed a break.

**Weak humans.**

I couldn't agree more.

Still, I didn't mind quiet days like this. It gave me a chance to let my mind go blank and not worry about anything. I inhaled deeply, picking up on the scents of my pack. Kaede was beneath me in her hut with Sango. I could smell Miroku in the village, he seemed to be surrounded by other female's scents as well. Damn pervert. I could also smell Shippou and Kagome on the hill just a few feet away.

I loved Kagome's scent. Vanilla and…something else that I could never quite place. It was strikingly similar to Kikyo's. Vanilla and cinnamon. Somehow, Kagome's scent was sweeter. Not unlike cinnamon itself, but not bitter, as though something was added to make it sweet.

Sometimes I can't believe how I ever got the two scents mixed up. When I first awoke from the Goshinboku, I thought it was Kikyo I smelled. I had to really focus to pick out the small difference between the two. Now there was no way in hell I could ever mix them up again. I breathed deeply again, breathing in the sweet scent of my Kagome.

**My bitch.**

No. Not 'my bitch'. Kagome would never want to be my bitch. She had a whole other world that she was apart of. She wouldn't give it up to be my bitch.

**Make her my bitch.**

No! No way in hell. I would never force myself on Kagome. I…I loved her too much.

No use in denying it to yourself. Especially when your demon gave you such…well dirty, thoughts.

I felt my body shiver with pleasure as one such thought crept into my mind.

Stop. No. Why dwell on things that would never happen? I was pointless, a waste of time. Just a painful reminder that she would never be truly mine.

**You weak human! **

I sighed. My demon blood and my human blood always seemed to be fighting for control. They always had, but ever since I started searching for those damned jewel shards, my demon seemed more persistent then ever. Lately, it seemed more and more focused on Kagome. That made me kind of nervous.

I first noticed that I had to be careful the first time my demon took over completely. I don't remember it fully, but I can remember bits of it. After I killed Goshinki, I caught her sent on the air. My demon wanted her, and he was going to take her. My human blood fought for control. I remember her coming closer, I was about to give in completely to my demon and take her, but she subdued me at just the right moment. It was the only time I'd been thankful for the damned rosary.

It scared me how close I had come to claiming her then. I didn't really understand what had happened, but I knew that I couldn't let it happen again.

**She is mine!**

Yeah, yeah, whatever. I breathed in heavily, catching her familiar scent on the air, except…

**Bitch is leaving, stop her!**

Shit! Kagome's scent told me she wasn't on the hill anymore. Why didn't I notice it sooner?

I jumped down from the roof and landed where Shippou was still playing on the hill.

"Shippou! Where's Kagome?"

"Oh, she said she needed to get more supplies. And you'd better not stop her! She's gonna bring me back stuff too!"

I wasn't listening, I had already taken off towards the well. Like hell she was going to get supplies. We'd been in Edo for two days, and she was choosing _now_ to go back?

Damn bitch!

I was so angry! Why couldn't she suck it up and stay here. I hated it whenever she went back to her time.

**Make her stay!**

If only I could. Every fucking time I tried to stop her leaving, she 'sat' me to hell! Although, if I was nice, maybe she'd bring me some extra ramen…

**Guess it's not too bad…**

Well, as long as she wasn't gone too long, I wouldn't complain.

By the time I reached the clearing, she was swinging her legs over the side of the well. I reached her just in time to stop her from falling in.

"And just _where _do you think your sneaking off too, huh wench?"

I pulled her out and sat her happy ass on the ground in front of me, placing myself between her and the well.

"_Well," _The look she gave me was like fire.

"I _was _on my way back to my time. We're out of Ramen and I just guessed you would want more."

Hm, I guess she could go back, for a bit. I wasn't going to let her off the hook for sneaking off though.

"Keh, and you thought that you would just wonder off without letting anyone know first?"

"I didn't just wonder off! I told Shippou to tell you where I had gone! And I was only planning to be gone for a day…"

A day isn't TOO bad, I guess.

"or two…"

Whoa, whoa, when did it jump to two days?

"or three…"

"THREE DAYS? YOU CAN'T BE GONE FOR THREE WHOLE FUCKING DAYS!"

For once, my human and demon side were in complete agreement about something.

"WHY NOT? I'VE SPENT TWO WEEKS HERE! I HAVE TO GO BACK HOME SOME TIME, INUYASHA! PEOPLE FROM MY TIME DON'T JUST DISAPEAR!"

She couldn't leave me for three days! I had to think of something that would make her stay.

"But what about the jewel shards? You haven't forgotten THEM have you? It's your fault that the jewel broke in the first place!"

As soon as I said it, I knew that I had made a _major_ mistake.

She bowed her head so her bangs covered her eyes and I saw her hands ball into fists.

Shit.

"Oswari"

I felt the beads around my neck grow impossibly heavy and my face made contact with the all too familiar dirt.

I muttered a string of curses while my inner demon sighed in frustration at my weakness. When the spell finally released, I noticed the slightest scent of salt in the air.

Damn! I'd made her cry. But what did I say? Kami! Why were women so difficult!

**There's and easier way…**

Yeah right. If I tried it that way, my face would be ground into the earth forever.

I followed after her, jumping through the well. I crept towards the house a few feet away. When I got to her window, I noticed she wasn't in there. I jumped around the house, glancing in each window to find her.

Finally I found her, and I winced at the sight I saw. Kagome was sitting with her leg propped up, as though it had gotten hurt. Tear tracks were still visible on her face.

**MY BITCH IS HURT!**

Kami, I have got to figure out a way to stop thinking like that!

I gave a sigh of relief when she stood and I saw her support her weight on the injured ankle. At least it wasn't too serious.

I jumped up to her window and watched as she fell on her bed, not even taking the time to change out of her blood stained clothes.

Silently I opened the window and crept in.

I sat on the ground and watched her sleep, she looked so beautiful when she was sleeping. More than once, her face scrunched up and she began to moan, so I put my hand on her head and pushed away the hair in her face. Almost instantly her face smoothed out and she gave a sigh of relief. I gave a satisfied smirk, knowing it was me that comforted her.

**Damn right!**

As the sun began to rise I felt her start to stir and I quickly jumped out the window. I had made it all the way to the Goshinboku before I realized that I forgot to shut her window behind me.

Shit!

As fast as I could I made it back to her window, but stopped dead when I saw her already up. I hid behind the tree next to her room and felt myself go lightheaded when I caught her scent.

She came to the window frowning and shut it, cutting off her scent from my nose. Damn, what if she knew I had been there all night?

Pff whatever. I'd do what I always do. Deny. Works every time.

Still, she looked pretty upset. Maybe it wouldn't be bad to let her stay here for a few days so she could cool down. But I wasn't gonna take my eyes off her. I swear that girl is a magnet for trouble.

When she finally left her house she walked to that place where she battled those test things. Every time I glanced through the window at her, she was sitting in a chair, her hand flying over sheets of paper as words appeared on the sheet. She looked so strained, but I didn't get why.

Every now and then, a loud annoying sound would ring out and she'd pack up her stuff and change rooms. I hated whenever that happened because I had to look for her again.

At one point, the ringing sounded and all the other people got up and walked out, but Kagome stayed in her seat, still writing. I was about to go in and see her, when I noticed a man walk up to her.

I watched the look on her face go from confusion, to shock, and to dread in a matter of minutes and I wondered what on earth the man could be saying to her. Despite my hanyou ears, I couldn't hear through the thick walls.

The man left the room and Kagome began to pack up her stuff slowly. I was shocked to see that there were tears in her eyes as she left the room.

I jumped to the roof of the building and watched as she made her way home. Then I heard someone call out her name.

"Higurashi!"

I saw a scrawny kid running towards Kagome. My eyes narrowed as I recognized him. He was that Hobo kid that visited Kagome when she was sick. I had seen his face in those pictures of Kagome and her friends in her room.

Much to my displeasure, she stopped and waited for him to catch up.

**MY bitch!**

No, Kagome wouldn't like someone as weak as him, would she? I jumped closer so I could hear better.

"– too bad! Listen, Higurashi, I know you've only been back for a day, but I was wondering if maybe you and me could get together this Friday!"

**MY BITCH!**

"Really? Sounds great! Would you mind if it were at the library? I could really use the study help!"

Study, huh? Well, at least it wasn't a date…I guess. Besides, what was I going to do if it was a date? No matter what my demon said, Kagome wasn't my bitch, and she'd just 'sit' me if I tried to stop her.

I was still pissed off.

But I'd been in this era enough to know that 'studying' was how you prepared for battle against tests in this era, and if this fag could help her not get hurt, then it wasn't all bad.

"Sure thing! Anything for you Higurashi!"

What was with this kid and calling Kagome 'Higurashi'? I was annoying the crap outta me. I couldn't understand why Kagome put up with this guy.

I felt my stomach growl and I realized that I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday morning.

I followed Kagome until I saw she was safe with some of her weird friends and quickly sped back to her house.

I opened the window to her brother's room and crept in.

"Yo, Souta!"

"Inuyasha! What are you doing here?"

"Listen kid, I need ya to do me a favor. Can you get me some ramen?"

"Man, Kagome wasn't kidding! You really are obsessed with that stuff. Why don't you just fix it yourself?"

"Well…Kagome doesn't know I'm here, and I'd like to keep it that way. Plus every time I see your mom she won't shut up about 'grandkids'."

I hated when she did that. It only encouraged my demon to take Kagome. Plus the way Kagome's face flushed red only proved that she didn't want that.

Souta gave a nod. "Understood. Mom did the same thing with my best friend when I was little. Miki never would talk to me after that. Mom needs better people skills."

When Souta got back I ate my ramen while he started 'studying'. I swear, that's all the people do here. Study.

I guessed it would be a while before Kagome got back.

Getting bored, I went to Kagome's room and looked through her stuff. In all my life, I have never seen ANYONE that had more _stuff_. The most annoying of it though was that half of it didn't seem to have a purpose. It was just _there_!

I went to her desk and picked up one of those 'books' Kagome always had with her. I'd looked at them before, they were just filled with a bunch of words that didn't even make sense half the time. But this book was different. Instead of words, it was filled with mostly pictures and a few words here and there. I turned the book over and looked at the cover. It said 'yearbook'.

I remember Kagome showing me one of these before. She said they recorded the things that had happened over the past year so you could look at them later and remember 'good times'. In my opinion, if you need help to remember something, it ain't worth remembering.

I flipped through the pages until I got about halfway through the book. Right there was a picture of me! I was pointing the Tesseiaga at a kid on the ground and Kagome was in a pink dress looking like she was about to 'sit' the shit outta me.

It was taken when she brought back those dried demons. I remember seeing Hoyo and my Kagome next to some really pathetic looking trees and I wondered what the hell she was doing. Before I knew it, they were telling each other, and everyone watching mind you, of their undying love for each other!

I was so pissed that I jumped up to where they were. I could feel my demon taking over and I was about to gut that piece of shit for even thinkin' about my Kagome!

Then she forgot who I was and started telling everyone she was in love with me! I was so confused. I wanted believe what she was saying, but it was all going so fast, and I couldn't figure out who she thought I was!

Things got even worse when a demon came out of the floor. I took care of it quick enough, but as soon as it was gone, Kagome jumped on my back screaming, "CARRY ME AWAY!"

When we were out of the building, she seemed to go back to normal. Thank Kami. I don't think I could of handled that much longer!

I started searching through the pages again felt my heart lurch when I saw another picture of my Kagome.

**My bitch.**

Gah! Stop that!

She was in her usual clothes and standing all around her was those weird friends she had. Someone else was in the picture, and it made me want to rip it in half.

That Hogo kid was standing next to my Kagome and he had his arms all over her!

**KILL HIM!**

How I wanted to! The only thing holding me back was that he was going to help Kagome train for another 'test'.

Still, I wasn't going to let that guy be alone with MY Kagome!

Maybe I would tag along, a bit of supervision never hurt, right?

OoOoOoOoOoO

All day she seemed so depressed. She never smiled, not even once! Why was it she was always coming back to a place where she never smiled or had any fun? She always had a smile in the Sengoku Jidai, of course there were also tons of demons who wanted us dead, but at least she smiled there. What made this place so special?

Finally she left the building, and Homo went to her like Shippou to candy.

**MY bitch!**

Let the games begin.

I watched them as they walked down the crowded streets. That boy wouldn't shut the hell up! What the hell did Kagome see in this guy?

All of a sudden, Kagome ran into a shop leaving Horo by himself lookin' really awkward. A few moments later, Kagome came back out holding a bag.

"Sorry, I promised a little boy I know that I'd bring him more crayons."

"Oh! That makes sense!" he gave a look that said 'Thank Kami, your not crazy!'

Big mistake kid! She looked so pissed and I could wait to see what she'd do to the guy! But…

They just kept walking.

What the hell? If I EVER dared to give her a look like that I'd be kissin' the ground at her feet for a week! And she…she just let him off the hook! Damn. Talk about a blow to your pride.

What does that mean? Does she like that guy more than me?

I felt a growl tear through my chest.

What does HE do for her? Does HE carry her stinkin' ass all over the place?

**My bitch!**

Does HE put his life on the line to save her when she's stupid enough to get captured?

**MY bitch!**

Does HE love her?

**MY BITCH!**

Damn. I'm such an idiot. Haven't I learned ANYTHING by now? Every fucking time I let my guard down, something goes wrong! I'm still paying for the last time I let myself be weak! And where am I now? Wasting my time chasing after someone who could never love me. After all, not even Kagome could love a hanyou.

What the hell am I doing? Why can't I just let her go?

I heard a loud _**THUNK**_ and turned to see Kagome stumbling around, holding her face and Hoto hopping around like an idiot frantically apologizing.

He had let the door slam into Kagome! The damn fool!

Half of me wanted to break his scrawny neck for hurting her, the other half wanted to snort in laughter at the look Kagome was giving him.

I watched as they went into the building and turned to leave, but something held me back.

What if something happened? This was a dangerous era, and I doubt that Hoho could save her if she got herself into trouble.

I situated myself in a nice looking tree and gazed at the entrance to the place where my Kagome disappeared.

**Don't leave them alone! SHE IS MINE!"**

"Shut the hell up…" I mumbled aloud.

There was nothing else I could do. Who am I to keep her from being happy? I'm just a half breed.

oOoOoOoOo

After what seemed like forever, I watched as she left with him and went to a place across the street.

She was laughing.

I closed my eyes and listened. He laugh usually lightened my heart and cleared my mind, but for some reason, it only increased the weight of the pressure crushing my heart.

I could feel my demon boiling with rage. I could feel the growls deep and low in my chest at the sight of the beautiful miko with that other man.

I pushed him down and away, I could feel him trying to take control of my body, trying to get me to rush them and seize her.

I doubt he would put up a fight.

**SHE IS MY BITCH!**

Shit! What's wrong with me?

Images of Kagome flashed through my mind.

_Arms were wrapped securely around her. She smiled into the face of the man who held her, but his face was constantly changing. His features distorted and changed, making him look like Kouga. They changed again, turning to resemble that Hojo. Again and again, taking on the faces of countless men, and none of the were me._

"Well, Hojo, its getting late and I promised my Mama that I'd be home before dark."

They were walking out. I shook my head, trying to clear it of that image that made me sick to my stomach.

"Yeah, I've got to head out too. See you later, alright Higurashi?"

"Sure thing Hojo!"

I watched her in what felt like slow motion.

I saw her place a shy hand on his shoulder as she raised herself on her toes.

I watched as she pressed her lips to his cheek.

**MINE! MINE! KILL HIM, SHE'S MINE!**

I couldn't stop myself. I felt my feet leap from their position in the tree, carrying me right to Kagome. It took all of my will power not to grab the kid by the throat.

"And just _**what**_ in _**fucking HELL **_are you doing?"

I heard the words, but I wasn't conscious of speaking them.

Red rimed my vision. My demon was dangerously close to the surface. Any goading at all and it would break free.

I wouldn't be responsible for my actions after that.

The human froze as he looked at me with utter horror.

Good. He knew I could kill him. My demon became a bit easier to control.

"You have got a _**lot**_ of explaining to do, _**wench**_!"

I kept eye contact with the human as he stammered for words.

"Uh-uh…w-who i-is th-that Ka-Ka-Kagome?"

I could practically feel the heat coming off of Kagome glare, but I had eyes only for the male who was so close to my pack, my Kagome.

"Oh, him? Well…you see…uh, he's an old friend, from out of town. Please forgive him, he can be kind of rude sometimes."

"Keh!"

The urge to get Kagome away from him was getting stronger.

"Yep, he's been a close friend of my family for years. His family moved away a long time ago and they came back for a short visit. We've known each other forever and he's always looked out for me. Even when ITS NOT NEEDED."

I looked down at her and felt a sharp stab at my heart. I tucked my arms into my haori, but I wasn't about to back off.

"Oh, w-well h-how nice of h-him!" As Kagome turned back to him, I locked my eyes on him. I felt the demon rise in me and for a brief moment, I let my eyes flash red.

The look of horror on his face…

"But I must be off!" he said, turning to take off.

**COWARD! **

My demon smirked within me.

"Now you listen to me, _**bitch**_,"

A rational voice in the back of my head was telling me that I was letting my demon have too much control. But I wasn't in the mood for rational thought, all I wanted was for Kagome to come back with me.

"Naraku is still out there, in case you haven't forgotten! He's collecting the jewel shards and he's almost got the _whole damn jewel_. We have to get as many of the shards as we can before Naraku does, and even if you ARE as stupid as you look, you'll know that we can't find any damn shards here! I'm tired of you running here every five minutes, and if your _not_ here for those damned 'tests' then you shouldn't be wasting time here at all! What the hell where you doing with that guy anyway? He looks like a loser, and he ran away to save his own neck. Why is it your always surrounding yourself with fags like wolf-shit and Hobo? Do you _like _looking like a whore? We don't have time to keep stopping because you like throwing yourself at every damned male we come across. Why don't you just give up and come back so we can finish this damned thing."

My anger was starting to fade a bit. I remembered my promise to stay out of her way, but something in me wouldn't let me.

For a moment she just stood there, staring after that pathetic excuse for a human. I wanted to pick her up and drag her back through the well. I wanted to keep her there, safe and away from anyone else. I wanted her to be mine.

She turned, and I felt her anger rolling off her in waves.

"Who the HELL do you think you are? You can't control me, Inuyasha! There are other people in this world besides YOU! Do you know what I've DONE for you? What I've given up, FOR YOU? WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER? Its not like you GIVE A SHIT! I had a LIFE here, Inuyasha! But you know what? I gave it up, to be your fucking 'shard detector'! I had FRIENDS here! I don't even know them anymore! You know why? Because I'm always following you around, putting up with your shit!

"And don't you DARE suggest that I'm not committed to destroying Naraku! I've seen the pain and suffering he causes people just as much as you have! I'm doing the best I can to make sure that BASTARD gets what he deserves! I want him gone just as much as you do Inuyasha!"

Dammit! Why couldn't she just come back with me?

"And when have I EVER 'thrown' myself at KOUGA? In case you don't remember, he KIDNAPPED me!"

My anger spiked again. How could I not remember? It was like she was mocking me for my failure to protect her that day, for letting my rival take her.

"COURSE I REMEMBER, **BITCH!** ITS NOT LIKE YOU WERE COMPLAINING! I SAY YOU ACUALLY LIKE HAVING HIM FOLLOW YOU AROUND!"

I felt her aura spike up around her, her power increasing to an unbelievable amount.

I saw her eyes fill up with tears.

"OF COURSE I DON'T! DON'T YOU **GET IT?** I COULD NEVER LOVE KOUGA! I COULD NEVER LOVE HOJO! I CAN'T EVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE EVER AGAIN!"

Tears poured over the edges of her eyes, making thick tracks as they went.

She was crying.

I never expected her to cry! I thought she'd yell and scream and sit me to the end of the universe, I had even braced myself for it. I just...didn't think she'd cry!

"YOU! ITS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!"

What?

"DAMNIT INUYASHA I LOVE YOU!"

My mind went blank. With those damn simple words, she froze my mind, rendering me completely helpless.

Did she really…**could** she really…?

"AND…AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU'VE KNOWN IT THE WHOLE DAMN TIME! THAT I WORRY ABOUT YOU CONSTANTLY. THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS IN THE FRONT OF MY MIND!"

No…no, Kagome. I didn't know. I…I never dared to hope…

"But you don't care. You play around with me and make me feel as though you love me too. You act sweet to me and tell me you'll protect me, and then you turn around and injure me worse than any demon ever could."

No! No, I never meant…I only thought…

She was leaving, and I was still just standing there.

"Wait – "

She turned to face me again, anger twisting her face.

"Wait for _WHAT_, Inuyasha? What do you want me to do? Sit tight in a little hut, never leaving, never finding someone to try to heal the pain in my heart?"

I could see that pain. It was written on every line of that face, the face that had filled my every thought and had refused to leave my mind since I first saw her.

The one woman who didn't judge by looks or heritage. The one woman who could put her faith, trust, and love into someone without a second thought.

But it had cost her, by blindly giving herself away, she had gotten hurt, crushed. Her heart had been broken.

And it was all my fault.

"Ha! As if I ever could! Even if you didn't threaten everyone who shows an interest in me, I could never love anyone the way I do you."

I wanted stop her! To tell her how sorry I was! I wanted to tell her that she was the reason I lived, the reason I kept fighting! But my body wouldn't respond, I couldn't move.

"You selfish JERK. You put me up on a shelf and decided you'll get me down if it's convenient for you. And because I'm too blinded by love, I can't get myself down. I'm just sitting there, waiting and hoping that you'll need me. And all the while, you're off with Kikyo, loving her and caring, for her while I'm put away as a last resort.

"If you can leave me, its fine! It really is. As long as your happy that's what I want. I promised I would stand by you, and I don't break my promises. I'll stand by you until you tell me to leave. I won't interfere with you and Kikyo anymore. But _please. _If you _ever_ cared about me, even if it was just for a second_. _Be happy with Kikyo and live the life you should have lived 50 years ago. But _**please**__, _don't make me stick around to watch."

I watched her run away. I watched as my hand reached out to her, as if it could reach her and make her stay.

"K'…gom.." I heard my voice choke out.

That girl, she had given me everything. I had been beyond the point of redemption, letting myself live in the darkness behind the barriers I placed around myself. I had given up on life, not truly caring if I lived through the next battle or not. I was broken.

And then, out of nowhere, there she was. Innocent and pure, and completely helpless. Something about her, something that I still can't place, even now, made me stick around her. I should have left after she put the subduing necklace on me, I would have left too, had it been anyone else. But something made me stay. I told myself it was to keep the jewel out of another demon's hands, but I know now that was bull shit.

That girl, she was like a light, a light that broke through my carefully placed barriers, piercing the darkness clouding my being. Things, little things that she did in passing, she treated me as she treated Kaede and the villagers, and not as a freak of nature or a danger to her.

Everyday I felt myself falling, falling for her. I fought it, damn, did I fight it. But I couldn't help it, she wormed her way into my heart.

_Even after I tried to take the jewel, she still reached out to me, hoping to be friendly to each other._

_After that fight with Yura, she tried to treat my wounds, she wanted to make sure I was okay._

_On my human night, instead of running to save herself, she came to help. And when she saw me, dying, she cried…for me…_

That night…

I was in so much pain, but it was the best night of my life. My human emotions were stronger than ever, and I could feel it. I could feel that I loved her, that, perhaps, I always had loved her.

We were so close…

Her presence calmed me, and…it made me feel safe and warm.

She stayed with me and cared for me until morning came and I was able to protect her again.

But then I remembered why I had tried to deny my feelings for her, I was hanyou. Half breed. Monster.

Experience had taught me that it was impossible to love someone like me.

Sure there had been Kikyo, but I could see it in her eyes, she didn't trust me. She feared my demon, but she had showed me kindness, given me friendship. I had been alone so long…

I didn't want to fuck anything up, I…I wanted to belong.

But I didn't belong, not like I was. So I agreed to become human, for her, for Kikyo. Part of me knew that she was using me to free herself, but wasn't I using her to free myself too?

I thought what I had with her was love. I was wrong.

I cared about Kikyo, that's true. She was the first person to show me any kindness, and I was so grateful to her for it, but I never truly loved her…

It took me a long time to realize that.

But with Kagome…

She wanted to be friends, right from the beginning, but she wasn't afraid. Hell, she screamed at me after watching me kill something more dangerous than anything she had ever seen before, and yet…she still trusted me.

_She _trusted _me._

And I loved her, thinking that she could never love me in return.

"_DAMNIT INUYASHA I LOVE YOU!"_

Kagome…you…you love me?

"_I could never love anyone the way I do you."_

How could I not have seen it? How could I have been so ignorant?

"_You act sweet to me and tell me you'll protect me, and then you turn around and injure me worse than any demon ever could."_

No! H-how? How did I hurt you Kagome?

"_Your off with Kikyo, loving and caring for her, while I'm put away as a last resort."_

Kikyo? But…I…I don't love Kikyo. I…I love…you…

**Does she know that?**

Shit!

Shit, shit, shit!

That's why...she thinks…damn!

I'm such an idiot!

Kagome gave me everything, everything I value now. Friends who truly care about me. A place to call a home.

And she gave me her heart.

And how had I repaid her? By running off to Kikyo, knowing it wasn't her I wanted to be with. I left her, not even considering the possibility that she…could…

The sky above me was growing lighter, people were walking around me, sending odd looks my way.

I realized that I was still staring at the point where she had disappeared, hand still reaching out.

Without conscious thought, I felt my feet start to carry me forward, slowly at first, but picking up speed, fast.

**Find her!**

I had to find her! I had to tell her…to apologize…to...to make her understand!

_**Find her!**_

I was sprinting now, running faster than I ever had before. I knew that to the humans on the street, I would be nothing more than a blur, but I didn't care.

I reached the place where her family lived, trying desperately to catch her scent! But my senses were going haywire, I couldn't focus on anything except that voice…

_**FIND HER!**_

I burst into the house, calling her name, but I couldn't find her in any of the rooms.

"Inu-Niichan? W-whats the matter?"

I spun on the spot.

I saw her family standing together, looking worried.

"Kagome!" I shouted. "Where…where is she?"

"She's not in her room?" her mother said, looking stricken now.

"She wouldn't be at that school-thing would she?" I asked, desperate.

Souta shook his head. "No, today is Saturday, we have the day off."

I felt myself fill with dread. If she wasn't here, where could she be? What if something happened to her? What if she had gotten hurt? Shit!

"Then where could she…" I trailed off. I could suddenly smell her tears, strong and clear.

I saw a piece of paper laying on the table and snatched it up quick.

It was from Kagome. There were watermarks blotting the paper, as if she had been crying while writing it. She had gone back through the well.

But, why?

I dropped the note and dashed out of the house, leaving her family behind looking confused.

I ran to the well house and jumped down the well.

As soon as I reached the other side, Kagome's scent hit me. My nose still wasn't working right, but I could tell that she had headed back in the direction of the village.

I ran down the road, her scent getting stronger and stronger.

_**FIND HER!**_

I burst into Kaede's hut and instantly spotted her yellow bag, but not her.

She was close! I could feel it! So why couldn't I find her?

Running outside, I saw Miroku and Sango sitting under a tree together, talking in low voices.

"Miroku!" I called, running towards them. "Where is Kagome?"

He looked up at me, startled. "Inuyasha, did something happen between you and Kagome-sama? When she returned without you we thought –"

I lost my patience. I felt my eyes flash red. I knew I had screwed up, but I didn't need to hear his lectures! I just needed to get to her damnit!

I lifted him by his robes and pinned him to the tree.

"Don't play with me, monk! Where the hell is she?"

"Come on, we need to go look for more shards. We've wasted enough time here."

K-Kagome!

I turned to look at her, but she had already turned away.

"Shippou, Sango, gather anything you need quickly. We are setting off."

I felt my heart beating in my chest. She was acting as if nothing had happened.

What…what the hell?

She walked out of Kaede's hut and began to walk down the path, not even looking to see if anyone was following or not.

"K-Kagome?"

She didn't respond. She kept marching ahead.

I dropped Miroku on the ground and started after her.

What was she doing?

"Kagome!"

Still, nothing.

I got right in front of her and made her stop. She kept her eyes on the ground, refusing to look me in the eye.

"Damnit Kagome! Look at me!"

"Please, Inuyasha. Lets just go."

Her voice sounded dead, broken.

I had to tell her, tell her how I felt. Now, before I lost my nerve.

"Not until you listen."

"I'm listening now, aren't I?"

I glanced quickly in the direction of the monk and the others, all watching with baited breath.

"In private." I said, glaring right at them.

Kagome turned and headed strait off the path and into the forest. I sent one last glare towards the rest of my pack, warning not to come near, and went after her.

When I felt we were far enough away, I reached out a hand and laid it on her shoulder.

"Kagome…"

She didn't move.

"Kagome!"

I turned her around and lifted her face to try and look in her eyes, but she kept them shut tight.

"Kagome! Look at me!"

A single tear trickled from her eye and ran slowly down her cheek.

What had I done? How could I have caused such a perfect creature so much pain?

_**Mine!**_

I felt my demon take control, and before I knew it, my lips met hers, silently pleading for her to understand, for her forgiveness.

She froze under my sudden movement, and I found myself holding her tighter, begging her to not pull away in disgust or anger.

But to my surprise, she kissed me back. It was simple, really. Innocent as she, but it held all the love for her I felt in my heart.

I felt her arms wrap around my neck as she held onto me, as if she were afraid that I might disappear at any second.

I wanted to stay like that, so wrapped in each other that telling who was who was impossible, but I needed to apologize. I needed to try and fix her broken heart. I only hoped that I could.

I forced myself away from her lips and pulled her in close, afraid of letting go.

"I love you, Kagome." I whispered. "I always have. And I'm sorry, so sorry. I…I didn't know the pain I was putting you through. I just never thought…I wanted to keep you safe and happy, and I didn't think that you'd be happy with me. But then, every time I saw you with someone else…" The image of Kagome in the arms of that faceless man appeared in my mind again, and I had to suppress a growl from tearing through my throat. "…I…I just couldn't stand it!"

She didn't respond. She looked so lost…

"Kagome, please trust me!"

"…I trust you Inuyasha. I trust you to protect me from getting hurt, but…I don't trust you with my heart."

I felt my heart break.

No…

I'd lost her trust. I'd hurt her so many times, through my selfishness and stupidity, that she now had reason to doubt me in her mind.

I felt tears well up in my eyes, but I didn't care.

She tried to move away, but I wouldn't let her.

"Then I'll prove that you can trust me!"

I didn't deserve her, not after the way I had treated her, but I couldn't help it! I needed her!

I felt the tears slide down my cheek.

She leaned back and looked me in the eye. I felt my heart beat faster.

"But…what about Kikyo? You love her."

She didn't ask if I loved Kikyo, she stated it. And, in a way, I guess it was true. I love Kikyo, but as a dear friend. I didn't love her, couldn't love her, not the way I love Kagome.

"Kikyo…"

But how could I tell her all that? How could I make her understand…?

"The Kikyo I knew has been dead for 50 years. Now she's just an imitation, a copy of what she once was. Besides, what I felt for Kikyo was nothing like what I feel for you now. You've trusted me, since the beginning. And it didn't make sense to me. It still doesn't really. All I know for sure is that I need you. I need to have you with me, always. It hurts when you're far away. Whether you love me or not, I couldn't stand it if you left me. I love you."

"You…you love me? But how can you? I've caused so many problems! Its my fault the jewel came back, it's my fault the jewel was broken and scattered! It's my fault that so many innocent people are dead!"

She was crying so hard, I could feel her shaking.

I pulled her into my chest, trying to comfort her in a way that words couldn't. I couldn't help but notice how right it felt, having her so close.

"None of its your fault Kagome. The jewel would have come back, one way or another. This is all Naraku's fault, and you're an idiot if you don't think so. You're the one that saved so many people. You saved us all, Shippou, Sango, Miroku, and especially me. There ain't nothin' for you to feel guilty about."

Tears still fell.

What did I have to do to make her understand and believe me?

"Dammit bitch! How come you still don't believe me? You baka!"

The next thing I knew, her lips were on mine.

I felt her flesh heat up from her blush, and she tried to pull away. I tightened my grip on her. I wasted too much time waiting for this, and I was going to make up for lost time.

I felt her, every part of her that made her my Kagome. Innocence and determination, purity and love, they were all her. And for some unknown reason, the Kamis gave her to me, to protect from danger and to keep her safe. I won't fail her, not ever.

I love her.

We stayed like for hours, as if we could never have our fill of each other, and I knew that I could never get enough of Kagome, I would always want more, would always need more.

I heard a rustle in the bushes behind and I caught the scents of Miroku, Sango, Kaede, and Shippou, but I didn't care. So what if they were spying? It would save us from explanations later. Like hell if I was going to hide it. Kagome is mine, and I am hers, forever.

I pulled back and looked into her blue grey eyes. They were shining, with a light I had only ever hoped to see.

"Arigato, Inuyasha. I love you."

I felt warmth spread through my body as she said it, and I smiled at the woman I held, at last, in my arms.

"I love you, my Kagome."

**My bitch!**

No, not "my bitch."

**Eh?**

I pulled her to me again for another kiss.

Not my bitch, my mate.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok so after I finished writing this, I realized that him saying "my bitch" all the time makes it sound like he wants her to be his whore or something. Just think about this tho, Inu's a dog demon, female dogs are called bitches, so yeah. Its actually supposed to be affectionate…<strong>

**Anyway I really wanted to ask for your help! A while ago I read a really good fanfic but I can't find it anywhere.**

**It starts out with Inuyasha trying to avoid Kagome because its mating season and she's in heat. He gets pissed when everyone in the group is calling him childish because he is really just trying to protect Kagome and he demonstrates his (ahem) "manhood" to get them to lay off. They come across two dragon demons fighting and witness one getting killed. Inuyasha surprises everyone again by telling them that they needed to get away fast, proving again that he does think rationally. Unfortunately the dragon senses the jewel shards and chases after them. Inuyasha tell the group to run for it and runs at the demon, and they make contact and freeze. Though it doesn't seem like they are fighting, the dragon suddenly retreats and Inuyasha is really weak. Later they figure out that Inuyasha has been keeping a secret from them, that he, for some reason, has mind abilities that are supposed to belong to dragon demons like the one they fought. **

**I forget how it ends, but its really good and while I thought it would be really cheesy it was surprisingly good and I couldn't stop reading it. It accidently got deleted from my favorites, and now I can't find it anywhere.**

**If you know what story I'm talking about, could you please tell me the name or where to find it? Its kinda old, I found it in a community but I don't remember which one -_-"**

**Help would be greatly appreciated!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>ANYWAYS!<strong>_

_**Thanks so much for reading, I hope Inu's POV was okay! I still like Kagome's POV so much better…**_

_**Thanks to all to reviewed before! It means the world to me!**_

_**I would really appreciate more reviews…even flames! I like to know what people really think.**_

_**Thanks again!**_

_**~Lions Heart (ROAR! ^-^)**_


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